Bad Boys, Bad Boys...Wachya Gonna Do?

The one thing men should know is that alot of women don't fall for a man because of his looks or clothes. It's the aura of a man that allures us and traps us. The more aloof a man is, the more magnetic and appealing he becomes. The "bad boy" is an emotionally complex, unavailable, inconsistent, non-committal and confusing man. This doesn't seem the least bit attractive, yet it is.

Maybe the women who want bad boys are self-destructive; maybe they long for someone to love; or maybe they've watched one too many movies where the bad boy finally changes for the woman he loves.

Hollywood has long been the cheerleader for the brooding bad boy who challenges everyone until he meets "her". That one girl offers him unconditional love in the middle of his emotional and physical turmoil (even through abuse) and he ends up realizing how much he loves her and....blah blah blah...happily ever after.

I also think alot of women want to be rescued. Whether saviour from being lonely, poor, insecure or depressed. They might be disillusioned to believe it will all change with the love of a man. A bad boy seems to fit the Hollywood stereotype of a romantic hero a bit more than an average Joe.

I don't know the reasons behind why women pursue bad boys. Even with the problems and difficulties they know they'll face, they still fall into the chase. And if you're in the middle of pursuit - Can you snap out of it if you're in it? Or do you have to go through it and get hurt to get over it?

I'd love to know how the female mind works, especially when she knows she's about to be hurt but willingly steps into it. 

Society's Scary Obsession with Skinny

I consider myself to be an educated, modern, strong and independent woman. But I have a dirty little secret. Something I'm very ashamed about. I'm obsessed with skinny girls. I love watching runway shows where the super skinny models romp around in skimpy clothes with pale faces and gaps between their knees.

I envy them and would trade bodies in a heartbeat. I don't hate myself, not even close. So if you're not judging me yet, can I admit another horrible habit of mine? My favorite past-time that helps feed into my obsession includes scouring through cheap tabloid magazines to look at the celebrities, their fashion and figures.

Can I sit here and blame the media? Sure. But I can also blame myself, my upbringing, my confidence, my habits, my intelligence, my inner strength or lack there of. 

I mean in this world girls aren't brought up like boys. While boys call each other up and say "let's go play ball"; girls call each other up and say "let's go do our nails!" There's a big difference in how girls spend their time, even when they grow up into women. Most of my girlfriends meet up at a restaurant or at the mall. The most extreme activity might include the spa.


I love working out. I love the gym. I love being outside and running or walking. I love swimming. I love many activities; however I do them ALONE. So then comes the struggle of splitting my time between, work, friends, boyfriend, and the gym.


Men are different. It's easier for them to physically active because they can combine it with their friends. Men play football together, basketball together, they surf together, they play squash together, they scuba dive together, they go fishing together, and they even play video games together.

If women combined physical activity in their get-togethers, they wouldn't have as many issues with body image, confidence, and time management. Maybe I'm not making sense anymore. 

There has to be a larger reason as to why I feel this way, as do millions of others, which includes young girls who are sadly hurting themselves to get skinny.

The Fortune Teller

Whether it's palm reading, tarot cards, tea leaves, coffee grinds or the crystal ball - the future has always been a fascination. On the other hand, it may be fear.

Predictions of the future is something people crave. Kings would pay wizards to tell them of any evils and defeats in war. Women in the 18th Century would sneak off to get private readings to see who they would marry.

Fortune telling was and is still considered taboo by many religions and so there is no definite way to know how many people still do it. But I'm curious to know. I'm not only curious to know how many people are seeking a prediction but if they are correct. Imagine if there were statistics and surveys that prove "tarot cards" can really help predict the future. Wouldn't we all then be standing in line for a glimpse? Would you?

Will I get my dream job? Should I invest in this stock? Is my colleague trying to sabotage me? Will I marry Steve? Will I have babies? How many? Will I move back to San Diego?

Imagine the questions. Imagine the answers. Would it make life easier? Would we be less stressed? Would we live happier and with less anxiety? Would it allow us the time and energy to focus on other things, rather than sit and worry about one or two things?

Do you believe in predictions? Do you believe that your destiny is your own and you have control over it? 

The Smell of Heaven

I'm a bit homesick tonight and emotional. I've been wandering off into memory lane, specifically my childhood, living in the same house as my parents, before my sisters got married, when we were one unit. It was when my life revolved around my mom's smile, eating dinner together, getting a hug from my dad, and fighting with my sisters over clothes. Most of all, I keep remembering the sound of the laughter and joys we shared. This was when life was simple.

What I miss the is the security of my family. Knowing that when I wake up in the morning I would see all their faces. Knowing that if I needed anything, they would provide it. Knowing that if I was lonely I would get a hug. Knowing that if I was sick I would be nurtured. Knowing that if I was sad my sisters would make me laugh. Knowing that if I was hungry my mom was already in the kitchen making me something YUM. Knowing that if I was ever in imminent danger my father would rescue me.

Now I'm older, not only are my immortal parents are suddenly older but so am I. How did that happen? I've realized the importance of life, love and time, not through my own experiences but through the years my parents have endured protecting and caring for us. Now their faces are a reflection of all those years....which as happy as they were, were still a struggle. It's not easy raising children and ensuring they are healthy and standing on their own two feet. In this day and age children aren't fully adults sometimes well into their 40s. For some reason our parents are forever worrying and forever taking care of us. Ane we are always aching for their protection and love.

I sometimes long for the smell of my moms perfume, the touch of her hands and the feeling of her cheek when I kiss her. My parents are the closest thing to God and the heavens above. A touch from either of them brings me a peace of mind that calms my heart and sustains my faith. A word from my father is a gift from God...he is my night and shining armor. He is the only man in my life that has never left me, never lied to me, never hurt me, never put conditions on his love and has done nothing but worry and give. Give give give.

I sometimes have a wave of guilt wash over me. The guilty feeling of "what have I done for them?" They are everything I live for...they are the air that I breath....they are my source of my life...my heart...my pulse. But now they're older and I should be giving those feelings back to them. Am i? Are those wonderful memories from my childhood repayable? Can i give them the same memories, the same feelings, the same love?

It should be my duty, my obligation but instead I'm still wrapped up in my own life, in my own confusion, in my own journey. I'm still trying to find my path.

If there is a life beyond the one we're living, I would only hope to be their daughter again. I am grateful that out of the billions of people on earth I was blessed to be born to them. I wouldn't change a thing. My mind, body, and soul will forever be theirs.

Note: For anyone who thinks I'm overly emotional, it should be mentioned that I've lived overseas for almost 8 years. I would see them every month if it wasn't for the extremely expensive 19 hour flight and 9 hour time difference in-between us. 

Kicking Karma to the Kurb

I just read a friend's status on Facebook and she was giving up on being nice to people because "they always shit all over me". I was struck by her statement, mainly because everyone adores her. This got me to thinking. Are we nice to people because we subconsciously believe in karma? Do we want a reward in return for our good deeds?

My friend is a naturally positive person and maintains relationships with people based on her amazing personality. So I highly doubt Karma is an issue with her. However, the whole theory about "what goes around, comes around" is something to think about.


Justin Timberlake sang a song with the same title and it became food for thought.

If we think we're good and we expect good, then do we believe that bad people expect to receive bad things? I just don't think that's wholly true. Even if it was, that conniving bitch who stabbed you in the back at work to get your job doesn't even care about the repercussions. If something horrible happened to her; would she realize that it was a result of her own doing? I don't think bad people have that kind of conscious.

I will admit that if I pass a homeless person I feel an automatic obligation to give money. The obligation comes out of gratefulness for my own life but also out of fear. Fear of being in the same situation one day if I am not a good person. What constitutes a good person? Well it may be different for everyone. But one of the qualities of a good person is to acknowledge the hardship of others. 

I live in Dubai and sometimes we're blind to the poor around us. I force myself to look at the laborers who are bent over sweating while working. I keep telling myself "look at them...they exist...they're there". We have to look....acknowledge, pray, be grateful, do something or just give.

Karma might exist and it might not. But goodness exists regardless of it.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned

Yes there were men who were dumb enough to cheat on women as beautiful, rich and famous as Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman and Sienna Miller!!!

This is not about being cheated on. This is about loving yourself. It doesn't matter how beautiful, smart, successful and wonderful you may be - there's always going to be someone who doesn't appreciate that. The only appreciation that you should rely on is your own.

It's so easy to become that insecure woman we all love to have. The one who starts to hate herself because of a man who broke her down. I have known some amazing women in my life, young, old, rich, poor, fat, thin, tall, short, blond or brunette - they all have a story of some guy who hurt them. Whether it was being cheated on, abused, ignored, lied to or left at the alter, it broke them and ultimately changed them.

Of course, my opinion is to find an immediate rebound because that guy, that relationship, the one that broke you - it was never about YOU. You were always the same smart, gorgeous and amazing woman. You weren't any less of who you are now with or without "that man". 

If you're still going through a rough time because of a break-up, or in a relationship and feel insecure, you should reach out to family and friends. They'll be happy to tell you how great you are. You just need someone else to remind you.